I don't care

If you could step into my life and be a witness to the argument that my wife and I have the most often, you would hear a conversation that goes something like this.

“Where do you want to eat? I don’t know, where do you want to eat? I don’t care, you decide. It really does not bother me, you decide.” Then my wonderful wife says something like this. “MAKE A DECISION, I DON’T CARE!” (It is said with the love and kindness that an amazing wife would say it.) We usually decide on Chick Fil A but then realize it is Sunday.

After our latest conversation like this, as we rode along in silence, I began to think about leadership, or really, the lack of leadership.

I began to think how frustrated that each of us get when at the core of our thoughts, we were both trying to avoid forcing our own decision on the other person.

It reminded me of a long time ago when I took a drivers improvement class required by my insurance company, another story for another time. In the class the topic came up about a four way stop sign. The question was what if everyone arrives at the exact time, who has the right of way? If everyone yielded to the others, there would never be any movement. The instructor told us that in that situation he was sure that someone would make the first move.

I think that in some teams, there are people in the group that have great ideas and would be willing to take the lead but they just don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, or force their opinions on the others. What this causes is a team that goes no where, just driving down the road wondering where they are going to eat.

As I drove along in silence, and getting hungrier, I decided that what I should do is just pick a spot where my wife would want to eat. While this did allow me to gain some much needed points with my wife, it also helped me to realize that a good leader should make decisions based on what is best for those they are leading.

Understand that I am not saying that a leader makes decisions based on what makes their team happy, unless it is your wife, but what is best for the team as they achieve their goal.

This weeks experiment: If you are placed in a situation where everyone is waiting for a leader to step up, go ahead and step up. Go ahead and make the decision as to where you are going to eat.